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30 Days of Night

Originally published on metropolis.co.jp on August 2009 I don’t know why vampires didn’t think of this earlier: the month-long period each winter without any of that pesky skin-charring sunlight in far-north towns like Barrow, Alaska. Taking a cue from 28…

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Niju Seiki Shonen: Saishu-sho ~ Bokura no Hata

Originally published on metropolis.co.jp on August 2009 This film is the final part of a trilogy that is based on a hugely popular manga of the same name. At ¥6 billion, the production has been one of the costliest in…

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Black Water

Originally published on metropolis.co.jp on August 2009 This low-budget, high-atmosphere wilderness psychodrama from Down Under features a steadily diminishing number of holidaymaking Aussie city folk clinging desperately to mangrove trees in a northern swamp after their boat is overturned and…

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Cadillac Records

Originally published on metropolis.co.jp on August 2009 This ensemble film is based on the true story of Chicago’s Chess Records, from its founding in the mid ’50s through the mid ’70s, when Leonard Chess (Adrien Brody) got out of the…

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Transporter 3

Originally published on metropolis.co.jp on August 2009 In the twisted world of movie physics, is it possible for a franchise to go faster and at the same time lose momentum? The title chauffeur breaks most of his own personal rules,…

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G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

Originally published on metropolis.co.jp on August 2009 My name is Don Morton and I hated this movie. The plot was as thin as washi, the acting as plastic as an otaku sex doll. I’ve lost many minutes of my life…

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The Soloist

Originally published on metropolis.co.jp on August 2009 It’s Jamie Foxx’s turn to do the Rain Man thing in this true story about a Los Angeles Times columnist (Robert Downey Jr.) who befriends a homeless, schizophrenic musical savant and makes him…

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Confessions of a Shopaholic

Originally published on metropolis.co.jp on August 2009 The predominantly pink posters should be the only guide you need for this lazy, unsubtle and predictable romantic turkey from crap producer Jerry Bruckheimer. Shooting for a job at a top fashion mag,…

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Blood: The Last Vampire

Originally published on metropolis.co.jp on August 2009 Live-action remake, in English, of the classic 2000 anime about an ass-kicking, supernatural samurai demon-killer named Saya who is possibly one of those cinematically convenient human-vampire hybrids. Disguised as a schoolgirl, complete with…

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Star Trek

Originally published on metropolis.co.jp on August 2009 Director J.J. Abrams’ mission is to boldly reboot a sagging franchise by starting at square one, and he manages the phenomenal cinematic feat of keeping Trekkies happy while being moderately entertaining to actual…

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The Spirit

Originally published on metropolis.co.jp on August 2009 Graphic novelist Frank Miller throws away all the points he gained for Sin City and 300 by trying to direct, resulting in this joyless, emotion-free extreme example of style over substance. The reborn…

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