Originally published on metropolis.co.jp on June 2012

You have to admit that smoochy-gooey novelist Nicholas Sparks knows very well his target audience and how to push their buttons, and this latest adaptation will not disappoint these fawning fans of female fantasy. Human beings, on the other hand, might find this most formulaic Sparksian effort yet, with its chemistry-free romance (a sleepwalking Zac Efron and a generic Taylor Schilling), gauzy photography and sheer pointlessness, just a tad contrived. An Iraq vet working for a babe kennel keeper cannot reveal his not-so-awful secret to her until the emotionally optimal third act. Big snore.