American Heist

This will rob you of 94 minutes of your life

Stop me if you’ve heard this before: Freshly paroled bad brother drags trying-to-go-straight good brother (with a new girlfriend) into a bank robbery that goes reliably wrong, in a New Orleans where people seem to speak with Joisey accents. The biggest crime I witnessed in this generic caper flick was the execrable Hayden Christensen playing opposite Oscar-winner Adrien Brody (but Brody executive-produced, so maybe he deserves it).

Derivative, maudlin, clichéd, and edited with a meat cleaver. Even the hip-hop soundtrack’s schmaltzy. This lame potboiler will rob you of 94 minutes of your life. Japanese title: Crime Speed. (94 min)