Originally published on metropolis.co.jp on July 2010

GIRLS ON FILM

• A 31-year-old cop in Yokohama said he “just couldn’t resist” after being nabbed shooting cellphone video up an unsuspecting woman’s skirt at a Yokohama bookstore.
• It was reported that establishments known as hazure fuzokuten (“loser sex clubs”) are staffed by women “who are very unattractive or overweight, perhaps having failed interviews at other places.”
• A Tokyo woman was arrested for meeting a lonely feller on a marriage website, taking him to a karaoke bar, drugging him and then stealing his money. Seems like the guy got the full marriage experience, condensed and without having to go through a costly wedding…
• One of Tokyo’s top cops resigned after it was brought to light that he had received discounted rates on golf tee times on nearly a dozen occasions. He first had his salary cut in punishment and then he quit… likely to spend more time on the golf course.

Oh, well that explains it

• A 29-year-old Osaka man has admitted to damaging Christian churches 72 times over the years by throwing fire extinguishers and rocks at them, all part of a desperately misguided plan to get “the priests to listen to his prayers.”
• A 71-year-old Tokyo man strangled his handicapped 69-year-old wife to death, later telling authorities he was “exhausted from caring for her.”
• A 72-year-old Kyoto child safety volunteer admitted to molesting an elementary schoolgirl on his patrol, later telling the court, “I did it because the girl was adorable.”
• It was reported that Jiro Saito, a former vice finance minister now president of Japan Post, will get a ¥90 million retirement bonus from his previous employer, Tokyo Financial Exchange. Saito was originally in line to receive ¥10 million more than that, but the board reduced the amount for fear that it “could incite a backlash.”
• As the G8 and G20 summits wrapped up in Canada, Japan PM Naoto Kan promised US prez Barack Obama that he would have plenty of matcha ice cream on hand when Obama visits Japan in November. While the US leader is a big fan of matcha ice cream, the official White House log recorded the comment as “much ice cream.” Musta’ thought Clinton was still in office.

Photo by Jun Sato

THE G-SPOT

• The latest edition of G-Fest, an annual festival held in the US since 1994 to honor giant movie monsters, featured the films Son of Godzilla, Godzilla vs. Mothra, Godzilla 2000, Godzilla vs. Megaguirus, Ebirah, Horror of the Deep and, of course, Godzilla.
• The Subway fast food chain is opening a branch in Marunouchi that will grow its own organic, chemical-free lettuce on the premises.
• Body scanning devices were used at Narita Airport for the first time to check for dangerous materials concealed by passengers. Somebody let us know when Jessica Michibata’s next flight is.
• Comic-loving scooter drivers in Chofu entered a draw to get one of 1,000 special license plates featuring characters from the Gegege no Kitaro manga series.
• Former sumo wrestler Konishiki weighed in on the recent gambling scandals plaguing the sport. “Pete [Rose] was expelled from the Major Leagues for gambling, but the MLB was not blamed for Pete. What happens past 6 o’clock is each wrestler’s privacy, and needs to be separated from what happens within sumo.”
• And just when the Japan Sumo Association thought things couldn’t get any worse, the bungling bureaucrats of the bulge released their latest rankings, but they forgot to leave out fired ozeki Kotomitsuki.

Here & There

• It was reported that the first club in Japan combining soapland activities with the painful world of S&M has opened in Kobe.
• At the AIDA World Championships in Okinawa, Natalia Molchanova of Russia, 48, set a world record by riding a weighted sled 125 meters underwater, then swimming all the way back up to the surface. The round trip took a breathtaking 3 minutes, 38 seconds.
• Eighteen-year-old Princess Mako, daughter of Prince Akishino and Princess Kiko, went to Ireland to study a little English over the summer.
• “Legendary” racehorse Oguri Cap moved on to the big stable in the sky, dying in Hokkaido at the age of 25. The 12-time winner was credited with “boosting the popularity of horseracing in Japan in the late 1980s.”
• The mayor of Hiroshima and deputy mayor of Nagasaki scolded the government over its plan to sell nuclear power-generation technology and equipment to India.

KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE…

• A recently discovered secret document dating from 1980 revealed that Britain backed the Soviets in a dispute over control of four islands near Hokkaido, even though they were sympathetic to Japan. Sneaky Brits!
• Cellphone video recently surfaced revealing that two high school students who drowned in the Tama River last year were actually pushed into the water by classmates. Originally, the students on the scene claimed the pair had jumped into the river.
• The Mainichi Daily News ran a story with the headline “JAXA Releases Pictures of Dust Found in Hayabusa Space Probe Sample Capsule.” And, yes, there was a photo accompanying the story… Riveting stuff, that space dust.
• Chalk up another business success! An enterprising company in Kawasaki has been turning discarded scallop shells into chalk to be used in Japanese and Korean classrooms.
• And, when the chalk gets worked down to a tiny nub, a spokesperson for manufacturer Nihon Rikagaku Industry recommends sticking the calcium-rich leftovers in flower beds and potted plants.

Compiled from reports by Japan Today, International Herald Tribune/The Asahi Shimbun, The Daily Yomiuri, The Japan Times, The Mainichi Daily News, The Associated Press, AFP, Reuters, Kyodo and The Tokyo Reporter.