Originally published on metropolis.co.jp on May 2010

You may have seen the trailers with frightening images of a befanged old lady climbing the walls and a freaky stretch-jawed man, and you are presumably supposed to think there’s more such cool scary stuff to come. There isn’t. I don’t know about you, but Armageddon tired of all these fake end-of-days movies, and this torpid, soapy, angst-ridden, SFX-driven melodrama is dumber than usual. Is “boring thriller” oxymoronic? Or simply moronic? Paul Bettany adds futile gravitas to this silliness as a gun-slinging, chopsocky-proficient, renegade archangel. Jesus, Paul, get a new agent.