Originally published on metropolis.co.jp on November 2010

Mexploitation maestro Robert Rodriguez (Desperado, Spy Kids, Sin City) applies his finely honed grindhouse skills and razor-sharp wit to this sharply written, cutting self-parody, and makes a few acute political points in the process. Danny Trejo plays the title ex-Federale with a gruff, straight face (“Machete don’t text”). Michelle Rodriguez is a taco-truck girl who helps out illegal immigrants, and Jessica Alba is a Chicana G-babe trying to bust her. Robert De Niro plays a rabid anti-immigration politician, and Jeff Fahey’s his oily aide. Cheech Marin’s a crucified priest, Lindsay Lohan’s a cokehead party girl (she likes a challenge), and Don Johnson’s a racist border vigilante. None other than Steven Seagal plays the BIG bad drug kingpin. His Mexican accent is flawless. Kidding. Of course, this being a Rodriguez movie, there’s plenty of naughty T&A (where does a naked woman keep her cellphone?) and, action-wise, it lives up to its slice-and-dice title. But if you can get past the occasional comic-book beheading, this lighthearted splatter comedy is for you. Note: while I agree with the director’s views on immigration, I felt the film’s interwoven socio-political screed might have been more effective had it been delivered with a slightly smaller sledgehammer.