Amid the frenetic “tulip mania” in The Netherlands in 1636-37, a young woman forcibly married to a rich and powerful merchant begins a torrid affair with the artist commissioned to paint a portrait of the pair, and the lovers enter the tulip market in the hope of striking it rich and being able to run away together.

The film, directed by Justin Chadwick (The Other Boleyn Girl, Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom), boasts a stellar cast that includes Alicia Vikander, Dane DeHaan, Christoph Waltz, Jack O’Connell, Tom Hollander, Judi Dench, and even Zack Galifianakis; a script polished by Tom Stoppard, superb attention to period detail, lush cinematography and a potentially lusty and fun comedic plot.

It is therefore a mystery as to why it’s such a crashing bore. (105 min)