Originally published on metropolis.co.jp on December 2010

Un-near Beer

Illustration by Phil Couzens

Regarding “In Malt We Trust” (The Last Word, November 19): A very well-written report. It is actually based on fact, as opposed to most gaijin “fact” that is spun after four beers. Before coming to Japan, I was told that the beer was really cheap—which pleased me. I tried one of these “cheap beers” and angrily piffed the rest of it down the sink. What makes me laugh even more than the dire state of Japanese beer is when I see the worst of the worst imported beers selling for ¥600 at an import shop. Get wise: brew your own.—DentShop**

The fake beers are just terrible. I have tried many of them and indeed do end up pouring them down the sink. I often have parties at my house for adult students. A few people always bring the dreaded fake beer. But do they drink it? No! They drink my Sapporo or Ebisu or other nice beer that someone has been kind enough to bring. So on Sunday I am left with a fridge full of fake beer (which goes down the sink automatically now). Enough said about the fake beers. Good article! I agree that the tax does not make any sense when companies can get around it by just selling crap.—koriyamaboy**

I love Asahi’s sugar-free one. As someone who watches their waistline (and gains a kilo just by looking at the full-fat Super Dry), it’s fantastic. Only 24 calories a can!—himehentai**

Yes, J-pop Does Suck

Regarding “Does J-pop Suck?” (The Last Word, November 26): I thought the X-Factor/American Idol contestants were the bottom of the barrel when it came to musical talent, but they are masterful professionals compared to any J-pop artist that I’ve heard.

They can’t sing, they can’t hold a note, can’t pronounce English and even their dancing (which seems to be the main/only reason some of these “talents” are hired) isn’t very good—have you seen AKB48 try to move?

Anytime I have the misfortune to watch ten minutes of one of those “let’s look back through the decades and nod our head with appreciation of No. 1s from the past” programs, I am gob-smacked at the absolute garbage that people feel nostalgic about. All I see is Japanese rip-offs of Abba, Spice Girls, etc., who are so bad they actually somehow make me like the artists they are based on, despite loathing them otherwise. Anything that makes me appreciate Abba must be the epitome of vocal tripe.

How many foreign artists would a typical Japanese person be able to name, or enjoy listening to? Quite a few. Ask the same question about Japanese artists to any of your friends back home.

So, does J-pop suck? Yes, in so many ways I could write a 27-page essay on the subject. I appreciate Dan [Grunebaum] tried to be diplomatic about it, but I think it should be banned from the airwaves and only sold in underground black market music shops, that’s how offensive it is.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to scratch a knife across a blackboard, put some beats to it and try and sell it to Avex Trax.—Charltzy*

*via Metropolis online
**via Japan Today online

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