Originally published on metropolis.co.jp on August 2014

I likened 1996’s Twister to a porno movie, having only enough plot to get you to the next blow job. This one is Twister for dummies. Some nifty CG tornado scenes, but none of the characters are remotely memorable, making it difficult to care, and there goes the suspense. The script wastes time on trite subplots involving dedicated but guilt-tripping single parents, etc. Follows with a lamer-than-usual found-footage motif about the exploits of a well-equipped docu-crew seeking that ultimate shot. Also a pair of good-ol-boy Jackass wannabes with the same aim. Alas, boys, the only laughs here are unintentional. (89 min)