Originally published on metropolis.co.jp on May 2010

SENSE OF HUMOR OPTIONAL

Illustration by Eparama Tuibenau

Regarding “No Belt Required” (The Last Word, April 16): What a disgrace. Miyamoto Mushahsi [sic] is turning in his grave. The author obviously fits the description of stupid white foreigner. This article is an insult to sports and to martial arts. Running around hitting kids and adults with a sponge sword is about right for a 5-year-old, or for someone who has the intellect of a 5-year-old. As someone who has spent many years studying and teaching martial arts, I am deeply offended by this article. As someone who has also had a number of books and articles published, I am equally as offended by the poor quality of the writing in the article.—tzudonyim*

I enjoyed your commentary—it made me smile remembering my own attempt 30 years ago. While working (yes) as an English teacher in Nara, I too boldly decided to “take up” the humbling sport of aikido. Every week I would take the local train to a very rural station and trudge up the road amidst the rice fields to a small [temple] where my class was held. Not only was I the only foreigner, I was the only female, the only blond, the only practically everything. Several of my classmates were young Zen acolytes who took their training very seriously. I lasted about four months—until my sensei, a very virile man from Kagoshima, decided to flip me without any prior warning during practice. The devilish look on his face confirmed for me, anyway, that aikido might not be the sport for me! I took away from that experience a very important life lesson: the way of redirection.—sctaber56**

DON’T CALL ME G****N

Regarding “My Darling is a Foreigner” (Books, April 9): I am already tired of all these gaijin/J-chick movies/books. One-hundred percent boring and predictable. Try something like “My Darling Is a Gaijin Whale Eater” or “My Darling Is a Gaijin Gangsta Rapper.”—Hellhound**

If marrying a foreigner is worth writing a book about these days, then people must be desperate for excitement. Chicken soup for the soulless.—“5SpeedRacer5”**

Obviously [it’s] a whole book aimed at making your foreign spouse a joke. Personally, I would not want to be married to a woman who constantly used me as the butt of her jokes. This is the ultimate form of disrespect for your life partner.—“djuice”**

Wow! Tough crowd. You’d think they were remaking Casablanca here. It’s admittedly a lighthearted book and movie which are for entertainment. Japanese people like things cute, fluffy, and not too in-depth. It’s not a cultural anthropological study of interracial marriages. Lighten up, folks.—“DC2020”**

HOME TRUTHS

Regarding “May J.” (Japan Beat, April 16): I’m also half-Persian and I was happy to see this article, but the poor girl needs to do some more research! There has been a ban on women singers since the Islamic revolution, so she can’t exactly “debut” in Iran right now!—hannahpersia*

* taken from the Metropolis comment threads
** taken from the Japan Today comment threads

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