Originally published on metropolis.co.jp on August 2013

There’s campy funny, there’s unintentionally funny, and there’s Movie 43. You’d think a collection of naughty vignettes by 12 directors starring several A-list actors would be a hoot. It. Is. Not. I suspect blackmail. These bits of calculated raunch explore the innate hilarity of bodily secretions, scrotums, menstruation, feces, farts, incest and bestiality. It’s aiming for something like the now-classic ejaculate hair-gel scene in There’s Something About Mary. Fails filthily. A dozen times. I get paid to watch this crap. You don’t. And I can’t un-see it. This is pure, soul-sucking ugliness. Just no.