Maybe I Do

Lost in mediocrity

Let’s do the pros and cons: It’s a rom-com (alarm bells), but it stars veterans Richard Gere, Susan Sarandon, Diane Keaton and William H. Macy (so maybe it’s worth a look). Continuing on: It’s the debut feature film of Michael Jacobs, the guy behind several family-oriented TV shows (that I’ve never heard of), adapted from his own stage play (RUN!).

Starts off by introducing two married-but-not-to-each-other couples in their respective hotel beds. Then cuts to a loving young couple (Emma Roberts & Luke Bracey) arguing at a friend’ wedding about what “happily ever after” means. It’s no spoiler to say that these couples will soon meet and interact.

It may have come off better in the theater, but I’ll never know because that would entail sitting through all this overwritten, pseudo-clever verbiage again. The actors don’t have conversations as much as they take turns delivering long, practiced monologues on love, commitment and parental responsibility. You can almost feel the cast cringe as they deliver this cornball stuff.

Irretrievably stagey, talky and labored. Mr. Jacobs, to quote a wonderful Roger Ebert book title: “Your movie sucks.”

Note to Emma Roberts (Eric’s kid, Julia’s niece): You probably want to give a pass to any more blonde roles because in this one you bear an alarming resemblance to Ivanka Trump. Note to Veteran cast. While I’m not blind to the dearth of good parts for aging actors, if this drivel is the best you can do, maybe it’s time to consider retirement. Or at least a new agent. (95 min)