Originally published on metropolis.co.jp on March 2014

Dear AMA,

I’m really worried about my friend, who I think has picked up a drinking problem. It started from going out with him after work for some drinks, to watching him get super drunk every night. It’s gotten so bad that he’s late for work, he’s forgetting what day it is, waking up in random places, and so on. I hate seeing him like this. I know he’s having some family issues, something about his wife being too controlling, but his drinking is getting so out of hand that he’s close to getting fired from work. I’ve had a heart-to-heart with him numerous times but he won’t stop—he can’t. What can I do for him? — A friend

Dear A friend,

Alcohol is often the way many men and women worldwide try to manage problems in their lives. While having a drink now and then in moderation can be a good way to reduce stress in our lives, too much or too often only exacerbates the problem physically, socially and emotionally. You sound right to be worried about your friend—his drinking has escalated. Talking to him and letting him know you are worried and are there for him is good first step. It is important to avoid sermons or lectures, but to tell him know how worried you are about him, how you care about him and how important your friendship is. Choose a place that is private and when he is sober, make sure you distinguish between him as a person and his drinking behaviors. Also make sure not to get into any arguments. Based upon what you described, your friend’s alcohol abuse may require medical intervention and we would strongly encourage him to get help. Have a list of different supports available in Japan from AA, the TELL Lifeline and professional face-to-face counseling. He is lucky to have a friend looking out for him.

This answer comes courtesy of TELL Life Line. If you need to talk, they’re here to listen. Call TELL at 03 5774-0992 or visit their website at www.telljp.com.

If you want to “Ask Metropolis Anything” about life in Tokyo, send your questions to askanything@metropolis.co.jp and we’ll find the most appropriate people to answer your queries.