Originally published on metropolis.co.jp on February 2011

You’ll be sickened and outraged! You’ll rip your own head off and throw it at the screen! Gantz, the new sci-fi blockbuster from Toho and TBS, is so bad that Don Morton would be dumbfounded (that’s allota dumbfound). This cliché-riddled, overheated action-/sap-fest contains such evergreen gems as “I love you… don’t die!” and “Leave it to me.” No manipulative stone is left unturned, no over-acting signpost is too far for this mega-release featuring Kazunari Ninomiya of the Japan-dominating boy-band Arashi and über-popular leading man Kenichi Matsuyama (Norwegian Wood). For those who always wanted to see a 12-armed Buddha chop people up with swords and an 800-foot Siddartha (isn’t that a rap band?) do battle with a pop star, this flick is for you. The story, based on the hit manga of the same name, starts with childhood friends Kei (Ninomiya) and Masaru (Matsuyama) getting killed while trying to save a man who has fallen on subway tracks. They regain consciousness to find themselves, along with other newly deceased people, in an apartment with a mysterious black orb. The contraption gives them fighting outfits and supernatural powers before teleporting the bewildered duo into an abandoned Tokyo, where they must do battle with a coterie of bizarre, menacing aliens. Truly awful, and the worst thing about it is that it’s only part one. (130 min)