300: Rise of an Empire

Campy slo-mo splatter

Apparently a second battle was raging while Leonidas and 300 rabid Spartans were off getting massacred at Thermopylae in 2006’s loopy 300, this one at sea and with just as much yelling, CGI-enhanced six-pack abs and even a few bare boobs. The bad 3-D is used mostly for repetitious slo-mo strawberry-jam blood splatter (okay, we get it). Sullivan Stapleton is a poor substitute for Gerard Butler, and that can’t be a good thing. Thank the gods for Eva Green, seemingly the only actor aware of how campy all this is, and her over-the-top portrayal of a hot and horny naval commander in a Catwoman outfit. Japanese title: 300 Teikoku no Shingeki. (102 min)