Gods of Egypt

Egypt should sue

Jeez, where to start? The cornball dialogue, the phony ancient mythos (the Egyptian pantheon as a band of superheroes), the temples that crumble on cue, the Windows 95-level screensaver CGI, a monster or two, the participation of Gerard Butler, and the many large breasts prominently displayed could make for a pretty good bad movie, you’re saying. But this ugly, interminable excrescence is too banal and incoherent even for that. Bright thought: someone lost more than $100 million on this bloated, witless, sword-and-sandal turkey. Dark thought: It brazenly sets up a sequel. Just shoot me. (126 min)