Originally published on metropolis.co.jp on September 2012

Among the offerings this week, The Way Back may be a better movie, but I just had to feature this one because, well, seriously silly good bad movies are getting harder to find. This misbegotten, execrable turkey bravely takes action cheesiness to a new level. The villain’s name is actually “Lupo.” The target enemy compound is “Snake Island.” Ving Rhames’s character (an arms dealer) is “The Grim Reaper”). I’m not making any of this up. I don’t have to. It gets worse as the “plot” unfolds. Christian “Direct to DVD” Slater is ludicrously unconvincing as a former Green Beret or something, dishonorably discharged for disobeying orders to leave behind a fellow soldier. He signs on for this only-in-the-movies mission to sell a real-battle “experience” to stereotypical millionaires in order to finance a revolution. Jeez, this makes Iran-contra seem almost moral. But after an obligatory training montage, these pampered one-percenters are ready to bumble. The mission, of course, goes terribly wrong and they find themselves in the middle of a real firefight. I can understand Slater’s participation in this nonsense, but Sean Bean, Colm Meany and James Cromwell should know better. Grab some friends and go drunk.