Originally published on metropolis.co.jp on October 2012

Stallone and the over-the-hill, aged-beef boys are back for another moronic molting meathead muscle movie, joined this time by Jean-Claude Van Damme and Chuck Norris. Note to Sly: Self-deprecating humor only works when it is not the only thing you have left. (Swa-chan’s chestnut “I’ll be back” is referenced no less than three times.) Dolph Lundgren’s comic relief, however, is a bright-ish spot. This is brainless, bombastic, redundant, violent, poorly scripted and cheesily self-aware. In short, just what its target audience expects. It’s kind of pathetic, really. I’m still waiting for Steven.