Originally published on metropolis.co.jp on October 2012

Idea: tell the story of King Edward VIII and American divorcee Wallis Simpson from the woman’s point of view. Madonna gives it a shot, but like most of the things the pop singer thinks she can do, it’s fundamentally empty. The dramatically embalmed, bifurcated structure jumps between Mrs Simpson (Andrea Riseborough) in the ‘30s and a bored New York housewife (Abby Cornish) in, for some reason, 1998. It looks great, but the Material Girl is so intent on proving her art-film creds that this mystical and melodramatic female-friendship movie would be better titled “M.E.” At least she’s not in it.