Originally published on metropolis.co.jp on June 2013

A space-warrior father and his whiny, irritating cadet son (a charisma-free Will & a not-ready-to-carry-a-movie Jaden Smith) crash-land on a toxic future Earth, and Jaden must make a perilous 100km trek to retrieve a homing beacon. Along the way, he must deal with ferocious digitally mutated animals and risible plot contrivances, and do stuff like climb an erupting volcano. It’s all laid on pretty thick, and ditto for the rancid sentimentality. Would-be auteur M. Night Shyamalan’s latest incompetent, plodding and obvious effort is a disaster on multiple levels. How bad? Makes Oblivion look good.