Originally published on metropolis.co.jp on March 2014

Must have looked better at the pitch meeting. Get senior citizens Rocky Balboa and Jake LaMotta (not their real names) back in the ring three decades later for an old-guy sports dramedy. It’ll be fun! But this overlong, drab pic is more sad than fun. Oh, we’re used to Bobby’s slumming, and there’s little left for Sly but self-parody, but why trash two of cinema’s most iconic scrappers for a few bucks (it lost $11 mil) and even fewer I’m-too-old-for-this laughs? Kim Bassinger will not be highlighting this on her resume. I’m not telling who won, but if you’ve paid good money to see this, the loser is you. (113 min)