Originally published on metropolis.co.jp on March 2012

A whiny teenager (Josh Hutcherson) and his stepfather (Dwayne Johnson) travel to the South Pacific to locate an island that turns out to be Atlantis (in the Pacific) and rescue the kid’s grandfather (Michael Caine, fire your agent). For comic relief, they hire Luis Guzman and his rickety helicopter, and his babe daughter (Vanessa Hudgens) tags along conveniently. This moronic cobbling together of the works of Jules Verne, Robert Louis Stevenson and Jonathan Swift manages to insult the memory of all three, is aimed solely at easily amused pre-teens, and should be viewed primarily as a babysitting movie.