By Don Morton
I do (not)
April 22, 2022
When a renowned pop singer (Jennifer Lopez) learns minutes before her globally televised marriage to a fellow pop star that he has been unfaithful, she, in a plot twist that could exist only in the fevered mind of a hack screenwriter, decides on the spot to instead marry a single dad in the audience (Owen Wilson) dragged to the concert by his cute little daughter and who is unintentionally carrying a “Marry Me” sign (the title of the pop duo’s latest hit).
The rest of the movie, which could have been written by an algorithm, is dedicated to making this work. It doesn’t. This rom com is neither funny nor romantic. It makes Notting Hill seem deep.
The writing is lazy and aimed directly at tweener girls, hardly the most discerning of demographics. This shameless fluff is interspersed at intervals by lengthy musical performances by Lopez, who, surprise, has a producer credit.
That said, it’s hard to make a truly bad movie that stars two such amiable actors, but both are punching way below their weight.
And I could live for a year on half of what this movie spent on J-Lo’s eyelashes. (112 min)