This is the latest casualty in the Mouse House’s ongoing campaign to churn out reimagined live-action remakes (translation: “cash grabs”) of its treasured animations.

A rebellious mermaid (a star-making turn for Halle Bailey) infatuated with everything human up on land (and especially for some reason one charisma-free prince) makes an unwise bargain with the evil sea hag Ursula (Melissa McCarthy, excellent) to temporarily gain a pair of legs in return for her magical singing voice.

The buzz this picture is getting mostly centers on how it offends people. Some morons are upset at the casting of a Black actress/singer in the title role. Oh, piss off. And the LGBTQ+ community does itself no favors by bitching that the makeup artist who did Ursula’s look, supposedly patterned after uber-drag queen Devine, is not gay. Seriously? The only offense I personally took was at the totally Disney-esque lack of creative risk. The whole thing bored my socks off. And I really liked the 1989 animation. (135 min)