Originally published on metropolis.co.jp on April 2012

Ye gods! There’s a lot to be said for lowered expectations. After surviving 2010’s abysmal Clash of the Titans (“Release the Kraken!”), I was expecting so little of this colossally inessential sequel that I was pleasantly surprised to be watching a movie with brief but identifiable periods of not sucking. I may have been drinking. At any rate, it fails to answer the question central to both movies: what are Ralph Fiennes and Liam Neeson (in silly beards) doing in this lame CGI product? Sam Worthington is okay in the lead, but that may just be a reflection of my relief that it wasn’t Gerard Butler.