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Minions

Great for kids under eight; bad for parents

If you don’t know what Minions are, you clearly don’t have kids. These little yellow, be-goggled, pill-shaped, gibberish-spouting whatsits were Gru’s hench-thingies in the Despicable Me movies, for which this is a prequel of sorts.

This marketing exercise starts with a cute montage of their age-old quest to find the perfect super-villain to serve, but rapidly morphs into comically disappointing, pure movie product that’s more irritating than amusing. Bottom line: Minions are best taken in small doses. Kids under eight will be through the roof. Parents will have headaches. (91 min)

Don Morton

Don Morton has viewed some 6,000 movies, frequently awake. A bachelor and avid cyclist, he currently divides his time between Tokyo and a high-tech 4WD super-camper somewhere in North America.