Originally published on metropolis.co.jp on August 2009

The nationalist groups (uyoku dantai) and their sound trucks will be out in force at Yasukuni Shrine on August 15. But what are they shouting about these days? Here are a few of their current causes.*

• Russia must return the disputed Kuril Islands to Japan

• The Nanjing Massacre was a fiction concocted by the Chinese

• Sound trucks advertising leftist propaganda and American R&B should be banned from the streets of Tokyo

• Japan must revitalize its agriculture to increase food self-sufficiency

• Punch perms should be recognized as a stylish form of men’s fashion

• Japanese citizens must abandon Western morality and revive the pre-war Yamato spirit

• Japanese men need to stop being so damn faggy

• Japan needs to clean out its financial system and give immoral money-grabbers the boot

• The Tokyo war crimes trials were a farce

* and a few we made up