This article was originally written by Alice Preat to report the shocking statistics, and updated with social commentary and academic perspective by Metropolis.

You may have seen headlines claiming that “84% of women in Japan think cheating is healthy.” But what does that even mean?

Many claim that Japanese people say “cheating is normal” — but is that true?

According to 2020 statistics, around 20 percent of the Japanese population reports having cheated on their spouse in the past. A couple of years prior, the Pew Research Center conducted a study placing Japan as the seventh country where cheating is seen as “morally acceptable.”

Rachel testifies: “In a lot of people’s minds, the expectation that someone can meet all of your needs seems pretty unreasonable. It happens so often that they marry, have kids, and often from there people stop sleeping in the same beds. So from that natural disconnect, it kind of breeds this ‘it can’t be helped’ mentality.”

To be clear: infidelity exists in Japan, just like it does anywhere else. But the framing of it as “healthy” or “morally accepted” demands a much closer look — not just at the data, but at language, culture, and how we translate values across borders.

Clarifying the Statistics

The “84% of women” figure comes from a self-selecting user base on Ashley Madison, a dating platform specifically for those seeking extramarital affairs. Naturally, their responses aren’t representative of the broader population.

More recent surveys show a different picture. A 2024 survey by URUHOME found that among over Japanese 500 respondents, more than 50% said they would definitely divorce a cheating partner. Another 20% said they wouldn’t immediately divorce, but they wouldn’t forgive the act easily.

Rize Clinic’s 2024 data shows that among Japanese people in their 20s to 40s, 25% of married individuals have cheated (38.5% of men, 18.1% of women). Among unmarried people, 21.7% of women and 12.9% of men reported having cheated. According to World Population Review, Japan does not rank among the highest countries for infidelity. Thailand (51%), Denmark (46%), and Germany (45%) surpass it.

So, Cheating Happens?

Yes, cheating happens. And it’s true that how people cope with it or rationalize it can differ across cultures.

Sociologist Dr. Barbara Holtus, Deputy Director at the German Institute for Japanese Studies in Tokyo, has studied these dynamics in detail. According to her, understanding Japanese views on marriage is key:

“Japan sees marriage from a functional perspective. Marriage is very much in connection with childbearing and child-rearing. The very low rate of children born out of wedlock is an indicator of that. You also have marriage as the step towards really being an adult and becoming fully inside Japanese society. If you have that functional view of marriage, then once the couple doesn’t want children anymore, sexlessness is sort of a developmental step in this.”

That said, cheating is not viewed as “healthy” or “functional” behavior.

Linguistic and Philosophical Misreadings

Part of the confusion stems from how the word “normal” is understood across languages. In English, asking “Is this normal?” implies a value judgment—Is this acceptable? In Japanese, however, the “normal” (futsuu 普通) are more often descriptive: Does this happen often?

These are descriptive statements, not normative ones. What’s common isn’t necessarily condoned. Misinterpretations like this lead to clickbait headlines that suggest cultural acceptance where there is none.

Philosophically, this is the difference between descriptive and normative statements:

• Descriptive: This is how things are.
• Normative: This is how things should be.

Conflating the two leads to misunderstandings across cultures.

Cheating in Japan: Ethical and Moral Value

Our original article stated: “But unlike the West and its Judeo-Christian values in which sexuality is morally complex, Japan does not have this idea of morality.”

This is a textbook example of Orientalism: the tendency to project Western moral structures onto other cultures and, in their absence, characterize them as morally ambiguous or even barbaric. Ruth Benedict’s postwar anthropology famously categorized Japan as a “shame culture,” in contrast to Western “guilt cultures.” But this framework is rooted in Christian metaphysics. Guilt assumes the presence of an internal conscience tied to sin and divine judgment. Shame is framed as external: based on the gaze of others.

However, this binary falls apart when examined psychologically. Religious guilt is still learned from social conditioning. The actual emotional function is not fundamentally different. Japan has moral codes—they’re just expressed through different social frameworks.

“Cheating in Japan Appears to be Socially Accepted”

Unlike many Western societies, Japan may frame sexuality and morality differently. But that doesn’t mean cheating is culturally celebrated. To suggest so is a binary projection — another form of Orientalism.

In fact, adultery is grounds for divorce and legal damages in Japan under the civil code term futei koui (不貞行為), meaning “acts of infidelity.” Cheating can have serious legal consequences.

Public figures caught in extramarital affairs often face intense backlash, sometimes harsher than in the West. As Vlas Kobara, a Japanese columnist and commentator, put it:

“芸能人の不倫とか政治家の失言とか、日本人は一度『悪』と見なしたものはとことん、徹底的に叩くじゃないですか。でも人間誰しも、絶対本当は悪いことしてると思うんですね、急いでてつい信号無視しちゃったとか。もちろんダメだけど、生まれてこのかた悪いことを何一つしたことない、完璧な人間なんていないと思うし…”
(Whether it’s a celebrity’s cheating scandal or a politician’s inappropriate remark, once the public in Japan judges something as ‘bad,’ they’ll punish that relentlessly. But the truth is, everyone does things they probably shouldn’t, like jaywalking. Of course it’s not good, but I don’t believe there’s a single person who’s never done something morally questionable.)

---

・Read more about Japanese society and culture:

How TENGA Is Changing Sex Talk in Japan

How Drag Queen Labianna Is Changing Sex Ed in Japan

Is Same Sex Marriage Legal in Japan

Her Body, Not Her Choice: Do Women in Japan Need Consent From Their Partner to Get an Abortion?

Curious about life in Japan?
From social trends to cultural insights, get thoughtful stories delivered straight to your inbox.
Sign up for our newsletter and stay connected to Japan’s evolving society.