Originally published on metropolis.co.jp on September 2011

ENTER SANDMAN

• A young couple died on a beach in Ishikawa Prefecture after their friends dug a deep pit and concealed it with a sheet covered in sand. It was supposed to be a birthday gag, but it all went horribly wrong when the couple fell in headfirst and were suffocated by the loose sand.
• In Tokyo, several schools have either scrapped their playground sandboxes entirely or replaced the sand due to fears of radiation from the damaged nuclear plant in Fukushima. Kinda makes the odd piece of cat shit seem inconsequential.
• TEPCO said that a worker in his 40s from the Fukushima nuclear plant died of leukemia. They have also said that the man’s death was unrelated to his work at the radiation-spewing plant.
• A map of soil radiation levels mainly within a 100km radius of the Fukushima nuclear plant showed that 34 places had cesium-137 levels “exceeding 1.48 million becquerels per square meter, the level that was used for determining bans on living near the Chernobyl plant.”

THE FINAL FRONTIER

• One of seven crew members who went to the International Space Station aboard the space shuttle Discovery in April 2010, astronaut Naoko Yamazaki, 40, has retired from space flight. Yamazaki is pregnant with her second child. (Just hope she hasn’t seen Alien.)
• A Tokyo-based Japanese-Dutch joint venture firm called White Label Space Japan unveiled its version of an unmanned moon rover, hoping to take home $30 million from an American NPO, the X Prize Foundation, which “offers large cash prizes for major scientific feats.”
• The Maeda Corp Fantasy Marketing Dept has estimated that it would cost some ¥1.67 trillion, or about $22 billion, to put a Domino’s Pizza outlet on the moon. But would they deliver?
• Researchers in Japan claim to have discovered antibodies that “block human infections with type-A influenza viruses,” meaning that the most severe strains of the flu may have met their match.
• Just in case a major disaster ever strikes the region, Kanagawa police have put up some solar-powered traffic lights “on a trial basis.”

A TALL TALE

• Under a headline in the Mainichi Daily News reading, “Ancient forearm bone from tall man found at archeological site in Okinawa,” it was revealed that a bone was found from a dude who lived in the Jomon period, 3,000-4,000 years ago. They estimated his height at 169 cm. Are we missing something here?
• TEPCO defended its decision not to release the results of calculations it made in 2008 that indicated a tsunami “higher than 10 meters could strike the Fukushima No. 1 nuclear plant.” They figured it would take a big quake to kick things off, and what were the odds of that happening?
• China’s State Oceanic Administration said that squid caught in the waters off Fukushima contained 29 times as much radioactive strontium-90 as normal. We’re guessing that’s not a good thing. Someone tell Godzilla his services may be needed.
• New Japan PM Yoshihiko Noda, who is into martial arts and likes the odd cup of sake, compared himself to a bottom-feeding fish and said he wouldn’t be getting any support based on his looks. We’ll drink to that.

BITTER DISAPPOINTMENT

• Disaster evacuees in temporary housing in Iwate and Fukushima Prefectures were left scratching their heads over a so-called “green curtain” campaign to beat the heat by growing bitter gourd, otherwise known as goya, because the seeds arrived too late to be planted. Goya is a popular vegetable that also provides plenty of shade in summer.
• D’oh! A Nozomi bullet train was forced to stop in Okayama after the 48-year-old driver told a control center that he’d forgotten his glasses.
• Three men from China were arrested for stealing peoples’ store credit to buy goods from the online shopping site of electronics chain Bic Camera.
• Golfer Ai Miyazato finished tied for 16th place after a final-round 77 at the Canadian Women’s Open, an event she led for the first three rounds.
• Japan’s entry in the Little League Baseball World Series from Hamamatsu City, Shizuoka, lost a tough one in the final at Williamsport, PA, falling 2-1 to a team from Huntington Beach, California.

AND THE WINNER IS…

• A Japanese director named Takahisa Zeze won an Innovation Award at the Montreal World Film Festival and captivated the crowd when he started his acceptance speech with the words, “I am Japanese. Are you doing good?”
• Another attending Japanese filmmaker in Montreal, Masato Harada, was doing pretty well as his movie Chronicle of My Mother took the Special Grand Prix.
• In the wake of entertainer Shinsuke Shimada’s abrupt retirement from his TV career over ties to the yakuza, one top police official noted in The Yomiuri Shimbun, “It seems many showbiz types’ first interaction with crime groups comes when they ask the gangs to solve problems for them, such as collecting unpaid appearance fees or breaking off relationships with members of the opposite sex.”
• Former Japan soccer coach Zico has a new gig after the Brazilian legend was named coach of Iraq’s national team.
• Meanwhile, the unfortunately named Dunga, another former Brazilian soccer star who, like Zico, once played in the J. League, was also reported to be getting a new job. Dunga was set to take the helm of a club team in Qatar.

OH SHIT!

• Under the headline, “Chances of big quake below Tokyo rising,” a Daily Yomiuri story lays out the likelihood that the events of March 11 have dramatically increased the chances of a very big one hitting Tokyo. The research is provided by the University of Tokyo’s Earthquake Research Institute.
• Smoking is bad for your health… and so is quitting. Several people taking a drug called Champix to kick the habit reported episodes where they lost consciousness while driving.
• Model and DJ Ayumi Takahashi, 26, was busted when cops raided her Tokyo apartment and found 0.9 grams of weed. Seems like a gangster buddy of hers ratted her out.
• It was revealed that a 57-year-old man used a chainsaw to cut up the bodies of his wife and son before sticking their parts in three containers found in Osaka’s Tennoji Ward.

Compiled from reports by AP, Japan Today, The Japan Times, The International Herald Tribune, The Asahi Shimbun, The Mainichi Daily News, Daily Yomiuri, The Tokyo Reporter, AFP, Reuters and Kyodo.