shacking up

Once you find your mate, seal the deal at one of the 300+ love hotels listed on the unfortunately named LoveHoMap website. The cleanly designed layout features maps of the most popular parts of the city in which to “rest” by the hour, including Shibuya, Kabukicho and Ikebukuro, as well as the perhaps less well-familiar areas of Uguisudani, Shin-Okubo, Otsuka and Kinshicho. The best part is the maps get rid of all buildings except landmarks and the hotels themselves, and even offer cutesy, illustrated versions of each property. www.lovehomap.com

Emi Yokoyama

marriage, 2D style

Valentine’s Day is a time to reflect on love in all its forms—even those that are a bit creepy. Late last year, a mysterious person identified only as “Taichi Takashita” filed a grievance with the Japanese government asking it to recognize 2D marriage—that is, nuptials between flesh-and-blood people and anime characters. His petition gathered 3,096 signatures. “We have no interest in 3D marriage,” Takashita wrote. “If possible, we would like to become residents of the 2D world. However, given the limits of modern science, that does not seem possible. At the very least, then, can’t we at least get them to recognize marriage to 2D characters?”—Patrick W. Galbraith

date movie

Courtesy of the Brilla Short Shorts Theater

What could be better than sitting side by side in a darkened theater with your Valentine? How about having the whole place to yourselves?!? The Brilla Short Shorts Theater in Yokohama is celebrating the Valentine’s Day season by offering lucky couples their very own private screenings. Each evening from February 1-14, the theater is reserving its final hour-long program just for lovebirds, and on Friday, February 6, Metropolis readers get their chance. For your opportunity to win this private date, send an email to valentine@metropolis.co.jp with your name, age, occupation, and telephone number, along with a note telling us “Why I’d Like a Romantic Night at the Movies” (max. 100 words). Deadline: noon on Thursday, February 5. We’ll pick the best entry and notify the winner that afternoon.

For more information about the Brilla Short Shorts Theater, see www.brillia-sst.jp.

slow sex

“I have met many women in their thirties, forties, and even fifties who have never experienced an orgasm. It’s sad, but true. Most of the women who come to my school are worried they are frigid and have to get up the courage to come to me for help—women who have little sexual experience, women who have been subjected to rough sex, verbal abuse, or other trauma at the hands of men…
Since you have read this far, you can probably guess that there is in fact nothing wrong with 95 percent of the women who take our frigidity therapy classes. Women come in gloomy, complaining that they don’t feel anything during sex with their partners, wondering if something isn’t right with their bodies.

I subject them to my ‘orgasm massage,’ and they writhe and squirm, arch their backs, tremble with pleasure, and scream and moan like wild animals, slowly sinking into an ocean of orgasm. After the procedure, I tell them that there is nothing wrong with their bodies. Their only problem is their bad luck in not having found the right partner.”

From: Slow Sex Secrets: Lessons from the Master Masseur, by Adam Tokunaga (Vertical Inc., 2008). Tokunaga runs Sex School Adam in Roppongi, which offers English-language therapy sessions. See www.adam-tokunaga.com for details.

Andy Palasji

“We created this wine to bring some humor to the serious world of fine wines,” says Sonia Dhillon-Marty of French Kiss, an easy-to-drink red made by an artisanal producer in France’s Languedoc region. “There are a lot of singles in Tokyo, and all of them are waiting for the other person to break the ice. A friend can call up another friend and suggests sharing a ‘French Kiss’ over dinner.” To celebrate the launch of her label, Dhillon-Marty is throwing a party for singles and couples at Mirai Garou gallery-lounge in Roppongi with DJs, performances and games (www.mirai-gallery.com). The ¥3,000 entry fee includes a free glass of wine; additional glasses are just ¥750 all night.

Saturday, February 7, 9:30pm-2am. Email events@dhillonmarty.com for reservations and more information, or see www.dhillonmarty.com.

glitterball

Ryan Bruss

Metropolis’ second annual Valentine’s Glitterball is the can’t-miss event of the season. Following last year’s inaugural bash—which drew over 1,000 revelers, including celebrities like Shaun White, Double, Chingy and Aoi Sola—this year’s “Angels & Demons” party at No Name Club in Daimon will be even more ambitious, with a whopping five hours of free-flowing drinks (7pm-midnight) followed by another five hours of a cash bar. That’s ten hours of partying with Tokyo’s top house, funk, disco, hip-hop, R&B and techno DJs, plus free food from some of the city’s best restaurants. Prize giveaways including romantic nights for two at some of Tokyo’s top luxury hotels. A limited number of presale tickets are available for ¥3,500, so act fast if you’d like to attend Tokyo’s No. 1 Valentine’s party.

Friday, February 13. See www.metropolis.co.jp/glitterball for details.