Jeez, I don’t even know where to start. How about with Metacritic, an aggregate site that averages out critic ratings on a scale of one to 100. This got a six. It’s already being referred to as this year’s worst movie. I concur.

As the (misleading) title implies, it’s the latest adaptation of the H. G. Wells tale of alien invasion. Since Orson Welles’s famous radio play in 1938 (which caused panic because listeners believed it was actually happening), we’ve seen numerous iterations. Hell, even Tom friggin’ Cruise did one. 

But it’s way more than just a poor adaptation. In fact, other than the giant, three-legged, highly destructive creatures, it isn’t an adaptation at all. No, it’s a blessedly short hour and a half of Ice Cube scowling through a computer screen while seemingly dealing with some sort of intestinal distress. 

See, he’s Homeland Security’s top cyber expert and in charge of tracking these things and providing the military with intel. But he’s too busy using all these government resources to cyber-spy on his son and daughter as, you know, any good dad would. 

Now, Mr. Cube has carved out a decent filmography as a scowling character player with a menacing ‘tude. This does not mean he’s really an actor or that you’ll want to watch this scowl for 90 minutes. This is broken up only by stock footage clips that often don’t even relate to the “plot” and shoddy, screen-saver CGI. And oh yes, his daughter gives birth on the street during all this. 

The misguided filmmakers try to modernize the material by throwing in WhatsApp and other pop culture references. Makes it worse. By the end we’ve forgotten about the invaders and are treated to a beyond-cornball speech on fatherhood and family values. Not even so bad it’s good. Can’t wait for the Razzies. (91 min)