Originally published on metropolis.co.jp on June 2010

©MMX NEW LINE PRODUCTIONS, INC

In this latest bomb remake of a far superior horror classic (see the recent Halloween and Friday the 13th abominations; or better yet, don’t), several sleep-deprived, soon-to-be-dead teenagers scream a lot while falling victim to Freddy Krueger’s one-liners and those (snicker-snack) disemboweling knife thingies he has for hands. (I wonder what qualities they were looking for in the auditions.) Not astoundingly, it’s repetitive, generic and bland, and substitutes gore for terror. Jackie Earle Haley, you’re a good actor, but you’re no Robert Englund, whatever that means. Your overexposed Freddy’s a big bore.