Based in Japan: Being Gay in Japan with Tokyo BTM

Based in Japan: Being Gay in Japan with Tokyo BTM

Translating Japan’s gay culture one bottom at a time

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Tokyo BTM is an increasingly popular channel that focuses on queer culture in Japan. Created by two expat, Andrew Pugsley, from Canada, and Meng Delvey, from mainland China, the duo has garnered over 9 million views and 75 thousand subscribers since starting in June 2020. 

Pugsley’s love for Japan started decades ago. It was the typical otaku story of loving video games, anime and manga, which led to graduating from university in Japan, landing a stable job and even buying a house. When Pugsley is not working, he can be found shooting artistic gel flash photography, playing video games, meeting friends, singing karaoke or doing basic gardening out on his balcony overlooking Tokyo.

Delvey has lived in both the U.S. and Japan. After graduating from college in the States, he moved to Japan to pursue career opportunities. Outside of work, Delvey enjoys exploring fine cuisine with friends and pursuing personal development. He has recently found a love for driving, cooking and fitness.

Tokyo BTM at the charity Tokyo Tower Climb event | Credit: Tokyo BTM

Advocates for LGBTQ+ rights and visibility in Japan

Together, the duo has not only created a platform that entertains but also advocates for LGBTQ+ rights and visibility in Japan. The channel features a variety of content, from interviews with diverse members of the community to adventures within Tokyo’s gay nightlife. The chemistry and commitment to authenticity have resonated with their audience, making Tokyo BTM a valuable resource for insights into queer life in Japan​.

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Metropolis: How did you guys meet and become friends?

Pugsley: I met Meng at the VITA Pool Party, a gay event held yearly by Tokyo Disneyland. We met a couple of times after that at other similar parties and outings but didn’t really get to know each other well until we both joined a Dungeons & Dragons campaign. For a year and a half, we spent hours role-playing our characters, chatting and eating brownies between chapters.

Delvey: I vaguely remember our first meeting was very underwhelming. We met through our mutual friend Parris, right after Andrew moved back to Japan from Canada. We briefly said hi to each other at the pool party and then went about our days, probably because we weren’t each other’s type [laughs]. Then, because of Parris, we did that crazy long D&D campaign together. 

Each session was six hours long, and we spent a lot of time playing and sharing our lives along with four other friends. (Although, at the time Andrew was easily distracted and often logged on to Grindr during the game!).

Starting the BTM Tokyo YouTube channel

M: YouTubers tend to be solo creators, particularly those in Japan. What made you team up for your channel?

AP: The channel started a couple of months into the pandemic. We were stuck at home and wanted to channel (pun intended) our energy into a joint project. I’d wanted to do YouTube for a while but felt that something was stopping me. I mentioned this in passing when discussing possible projects with Meng and as it turns out, he was down for the idea. 

Within an hour he was mentally ready to film, edit and upload our first video by the end of the week. I’m always appreciative of Meng for that because up until that point, I was never ready. I felt I needed to plan more and I’d just go round and round in my head about it, without pulling the trigger. Meng helped get the ball rolling and thus the channel was born.

MD: Andrew mentioned that he’d always been interested in creating a “foreigner gay in Japan” channel with another friend. Honestly, I’d always been curious about what’s like being an “influencer,” so I said, “Why not? It sounds fun! Let’s try it! But you have to promise me that you won’t back down before we actually put out some videos on YouTube!” 

We started figuring out what camera and audio equipment to use, how to edit videos and how to analyze YouTube data. It was very tough in the beginning because we had to start from zero. If you go back to our earliest videos, you can see how bad they were. My tip for anyone out there who wants to start something new is: JUST DO IT! You don’t have to be good from the start, just improve little by little after you put your feet in.

Is Japan a bottom country?

M: I think I know the answer, but why name it Tokyo BTM? 

AP: First of all, we wanted to have a name for our duo. We didn’t want to be just “Andrew and Meng,” but something more of a unit, like BTS, hence BTM. For those who don’t know, BTM stands for bottom, which is one of the Top/Versatile/Bottom/Side roles found in gay culture. Meng and I had been making jokes about how we felt Japan was full of bottoms and so we wanted to bring this humor over into the channel. Bottom is often abbreviated as BTM on dating apps and sites, so it matched our idea of a unit name perfectly.

MD: I suggested this silly name half-jokingly to Andrew, and he surprisingly agreed to it. The reason is quite straightforward: when we first launched the channel, we both identified as bottoms. Andrew and I bonded a lot through our “bottomhood” (laughs). 

We also have many videos around the topic that Japan is a bottom country. When we greet our audience, we say “Hi Tokyo tops!”, even though there are probably only three or four Tokyo tops out there in the wild. In the beginning, we felt embarrassed to say it out loud, but now it has become our channel’s signature.

Queer Content in Japan

M: Your channel is a combination of life tips, fun content and eye candy. How do you strike the right balance between useful information and pure entertainment?

AP: When we started, we had all the genres planned out. One week would be information, then a vlog the next, and then a bar video, etc. We felt that balance would allow us to make something for everyone. Now we are not so strict, but I think we still both balance the channel since I want to make informative videos and Meng likes to have fun. 

I thought that people would only watch if we could offer special tips into gay life in Japan, but Meng has helped me realize over the years that people can watch us for a fun vibe that has just as much value. A lot of people come to YouTube as a 15-minute escape from life. I think our channel would be too serious if it were all informative, maybe even boring. That’s not to say our “fun” videos are devoid of information. 

We’ve been in Japan for so long that we can forget how random comments about life here might help someone. It’s this sort of balance that makes our channel the “edutainment” that it is.

Gay Life in Japan

MD: Oh, not Andrew saying that I only like to “have fun”! [laughs] I actually put a lot of thought into my video ideas. A part of me wishes we could break out of the gay niche and reach a wider audience. Some of our gay content, although very popular amongst our target audience, often faces problems like demonetization and age restrictions, which has forced us to go more “family-friendly” these days. 

However, I understand that most of our viewers are gay men who want to see gay-related content. There was a period when we argued and fought about what type of content to create, but I think we have reached a middle ground. 

Andrew likes to keep everything tidy and has a well-rounded approach to covering all aspects of gay life in Japan. On the other hand, I’m more of a “vibe” type of person. I believe that as long as we are delivering fun content, people will watch. 

It may seem like we have achieved the right balance but it took a lot of discussions behind the scenes. Honestly, we are still figuring things out.

Being a gay man in Japan versus Canada and China

M: How does living as a gay man in Japan compare to Canada and China?

AP: I find it harder to live here as a gay man, as it is harder to date. I’m a foreigner, so I’m not what local guys usually like. Having said that, Tokyo is way more exciting than where I’m from in Canada, and it’s significantly cheaper to live here, so my life is much more rewarding and fun. 

Also, even though gay rights here are behind those in Canada, it is much safer in Japan and I feel I can be myself in public without the need to watch my back. 

MD: I was in China until I was 16 years old. There, I was exposed to gay content at a very early age (12-16). That was an era when the internet was truly free, and I was able to consume a lot of Western content, including adult content. 

Social media was already very advanced in the early 2000s in China, and most Chinese people used a chatting platform called QQ. Gay people would find each other by joining QQ chat groups in their cities.

I then moved to California for part of high school and college. During my time there I didn’t do much as a gay person other than occasionally going to a club called Rage on Friday nights in West Hollywood with close friends. 

My time in the U.S. really helped me come out of my shell and become more accepting of my own sexuality. During summer breaks, I would go to Shanghai and my friend would take me to popular gay bars and clubs. Like Japan, China also has a very vibrant gay scene, and the clubs were fire! 

Social pressures in Japan

Japan is a whole different story for me. My first serious long-term relationship happened here. I thought I had everything, but then we separated because my Japanese ex got scared of committing to happily ever after. He wanted to pursue a “normal” life. That has forever scarred me because I thought we were each other’s destiny. 

Although Japan has a very vibrant gay scene and has improved a lot in LGBTQ+ visibility, a lot of people are still in the closet because of social pressure, which is very similar to China. I agree with Andrew that Japan doesn’t fully welcome foreigners. Although I’m East Asian and can “pass” on many occasions, I’ve still faced rejection because of being a “gaijin”.

A part of the expat Japan YouTube space

M: What does the future look like for the channel and your life in Japan?

AP: One of our current goals is to reach 100,000 subscribers on YouTube. The going is slow, but we have the goal in our sights! We also have various ideas on how to expand our brand beyond just YouTube but will need to do more research into how realistic these might be.

I think we foresee our channel sticking around for a while and becoming an integral part of the expat Japan YouTube space. I would like Tokyo BTM to be a name that sits amongst the other giants in the scene. But we are not pressuring ourselves as much as before. 

I burned myself out a couple of years ago. A slower pace now means slower growth, but we have got to a point where we are balanced and maintaining the channel is sustainable. Apart from that, we have both settled down, bought houses and committed our lives to Japan for the long term, so I don’t foresee us leaving anytime soon. I’m pretty set – although a boyfriend would be nice!

MD: Yas! I’m all here for 100k! Although, I’m taking a chill approach at the moment and not focusing too much on the number. I’d love to continue the channel, create fun memories of us, and share our fun adventures and growth with our viewers. It’s always so surreal to bump into our viewers in Tokyo’s gay district and hear how much they love our content. Tokyo BTM has challenged me and pushed me out of my comfort zone at times, and I’m forever grateful to have some recognition.

In terms of life in Japan, it’s not super exciting at the moment, but definitely comfortable. I have a stable and challenging full-time job, work with a lot of smart people, have supportive friends including Andrew, go on dates, travel and sometimes go out for gay stuff. 

LGBTQ+ and mental health in Japan

M: LGBTQ+ people often struggle with mental health and well-being. How do you and those around you deal with this? 

AP: I’ve lived in Japan three separate times over 20+ years. When I came back seven years ago for work I was struggling a bit and tried to find a therapist. I knew it would be hard to find in Asia, but I wasn’t prepared for just how little awareness there would be. 

I ended up connecting with my old therapist from Canada via Skype and then drowned my sorrows in drinks with some local gay besties. The gay foreigner community in Japan is small but tight, and being a part of it has done wonders–not only for my mental health but also my sense of belonging. We party together, watch movies, go to dinner and even sometimes gym together, all of which further help me with my mental health.

Since I arrived back in Japan seven years ago, the country has somewhat warmed up to the idea of mental health being important. Also, I’ve learned of services I never knew of before, like TELL (which we did a video on last year). At the end of the day what has been really important for me here is finding my chosen family. 

Not only can we dance and chase boys together, but they understand my struggles and are always there when I need them. And then…for the issues that are a little more complicated, my therapist in Toronto is only one short Skype call away. Thank god for technology! 

Overcoming negative comments

From a YouTube point of view, there was a time a couple of years ago when I was struggling mentally with the growth of our channel. As expected, growth comes with its own critics and as our subscribers increased, I found it harder to skip over the negative comments. The mind is funny because you can have twenty great comments and yet it is that one negative one that it won’t let go. 

So, I decided to take a step back then and not view comments for a while to take care of my mental health. However, once I did that I lost the connection with our YouTube community that I had really valued. Part of the joy of doing a channel like this is to build a community and get to know people who share some similar interests, hobbies and experiences. So it was almost just as bad to remove myself from the comment section. 

For a while, I felt like I was just releasing videos into the void and had no idea whether they resonated with anyone. It was hard. I’ve since been able to strike a balance, but I find it a good example of how dangerous social media can be on mental health. It’s important to sometimes take a break from it.  

Dealing with mental health

MD: Andrew always tells me that I need a therapist, but I never actually made an effort to find one [laughs]. Honestly, I haven’t really been a “mental health person”, maybe because I grew up in China. 

I sometimes joke that mental health is for rich people, so I’m probably the worst person to answer this very important question. I believe that nobody is always happy. Feeling sad and lonely is totally normal as a human being. So from time to time, I remind myself to allow these feelings without being too harsh on myself. Although I am still not very good at expressing them to other people.

I may seem fun and bubbly on screen, but I’m quite an introverted person. Interacting with people can drain a lot of energy for me. What I have been practicing is putting myself first. On weekends, sometimes I just stay home, clean and watch anime, not meeting anyone nor replying to anyone’s messages. I use this time to recharge until I can engage in more social activities.

When I face difficulties, I tell myself to take a step back, look for answers from a different angle. Or I say, “So what? The world is not ending.” I acknowledge that a lot of my unhappiness comes from my own sabotage, lack of confidence, body image and jealousy. 

Recently, I’ve learned to remind myself that it’s never too late to change things I don’t like about myself. I just need to be patient and work hard towards my goals. I remind myself to be grateful that many people around me, or channel viewers, like me for who I am.